Thursday, June 18, 2009

Let Go & Move On

this is a true story - I remember coming home that night and sitting on my bed from my

basketball game. I sat there for the longest time then bursting into tears. I was breaking down.

The worst ever. I remember throwing things all over my room. But then I turned and looked in

the mirror at the face he couldn’t love. The face that he couldn’t find room in his heart to care

for. I stood up and threw my brand new basketball trophy at my mirror.

The mirror shattered and I was screaming at the top of my lungs and crying at the same time. I

looked at my bloody hands that had been cut up by the mirror. My hands were also shaking out

of anger. All at once I jumped up and ran to the bathroom and puked from crying so hard (ew i

know). I curled up in a ball on my bed and sobbed. I wasn’t pretty enough, not smart enough,

not athletic enough, not GOOD enough for him. I didn’t fit into his All-American dream…no I

didn’t. My friend was the one he had his eyes on. The next week another one of my friends

walked up to me and told me he was going out with my other friend. I was literally devasted. All

the hard work I had done to get him to a least like me a little was…burning up in flames. I came

home with tears blurring my vision. As I was walking to my house down my driveway I had

flashbacks of all the fun times that I had with him. And I bet he forgot all the memories I will

NEVER forget. I liked him for 5 months. Believe it or not 5 months was all I needed to know

everything about him. That night in bed I cried myself to sleep with the memories breaking my

heart. That’s when a questions filled my head. Why did I let him do this to me? Why did I still

long for him to be with me? Why do I still think all day about him? I found my answer in my

dream that night. The answer is…because true love never dies. And he was my first true love.

Now I sit here typing this story thinking…I do still love him but from a distance. I had to learn

the hardest thing in the world…how to let go and move on.

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